


Thorin's Thirteen

by Shay_Moonsilk



Series: Heist AU [1]
Category: Ocean's (Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Balin says bad words, Bilbo is Julia Roberts/Tess, Dwalin is Brad Pitt/Rusty Ryan, Everyone in the company is part of the heist, Fili and Kili are the mormon twin characters, Gambling, Gen, Heist AU, M/M, Ori is Matt Damon/Linus Caldwell, Secrets, Smaug is Andrew Garcia/Terry Benedict, Thorin is George Clooney/Daniel Ocean, ocean's 11 au, people break up and get back together
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-16
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-05-07 01:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5438453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Moonsilk/pseuds/Shay_Moonsilk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a newly reformed man, Thorin is going to pay his debt to society. </p><p>By screwing the man who's screwing his partner. </p><p>Watch as he rounds up the twelve most unlikely people to pull off the greatest heist Las Vegas has ever seen. </p><p>Yes, this is an Ocean's 11 AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Man Free

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [New Orleans](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5423516) by [Shay_Moonsilk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Moonsilk/pseuds/Shay_Moonsilk). 



> I am trash. It's official now. I'm supposed to be writing the Playing Field, or the Thorin story. 
> 
> Instead this. 
> 
> It's one of my favorite movies, so I hope this is justice for it.

New York City

3:24 PM

On a Thursday, mid afternoon, Thorin “Oakenshield” Durin was released from jail after five years behind bars. He led to the entrence of the prison, and handed his personal affects – the suit he had been wearing the day he was arrested, a watch, a wallet, and a cell phone that flipped open and closed. After changing, he received his last two pieces of mail that had been waiting for him. One was a big manila envelope packet - he set it aside in favor of a smaller, more personalized envelope. Inside was a single ring – a gold band. And divorce papers.

Well. Bilbo had promised he would write.

The officer standing before him tapped his foot impatiently.

“Ready to go?” He growled.

Thorin adjusted his watch, and nodded.

The two of them headed to the car that had been in his possession before he had been arrested. The officer was off duty for the next few months, he was leaving this particular unit, and would be transferring to one out of state. He had promised the others that he would take Thorin to meet his parole officer before catching his plane. 

The officer started the car, and pulled out of the parking lot, and drove down the street.

“Just a reminder,” The officer said, “According to your parole, you are supposed to become an upstanding member of society. That means: no drinking, smoking, gambling, _any_ illegal activity at all, and _especially_ not leaving the state.”

“I see,” Thorin said.

The car continued down the road. Once they had been driving for an hour, the cop removed his badge, and threw it in the backseat.

“Atlantic City, then?” Dwalin asked.

Thorin smirked at him. “It’s good to be out.”

* * *

 

Atlantic City

8:00 PM

They arrived at the Blue Mountain Hotel, and separated without a word to each other. Dwalin went over to the bar, and Thorin made his way towards the casino.

He ascended the escalator, walking slowly between the various poker tables. Activity seemed rather low; not too many people out and about on a weekday. It was no matter, because he wasn’t really interested in playing tonight.

Rather, he was looking for a specific blackjack dealer.

Finally, Thorin caught sight of him. He made his way over to the table and sat down. 

“Would you like to play?” The dealer asked, in a polite, yet bland tone.

“I would Nori.” Thorin said.

The dealer frowned. “I’m sorry, you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Snaga,” He indicated a nametag that held the name.

Thorin gave a nod. “My apologies,” he said, “I’m afraid I won’t be playing anyway, it seems pretty dead tonight here.”

“You should try Café Orleans, around 3.” He offered.

“I will.” Thorin said.

* * *

 

Atlantic City

10:30 PM

After that encounter, he had gone back downstairs, and went to the bar to meet with Dwalin. The "policeman" had found Bofur – and the two were enjoying a few beers and catching up from the last five years. Bofur told him how he and Nori drifted from city to city, pulling various jobs and working indirectly with Fili and Kili, who would handle clean up after they pulled a heist. 

He and Nori had just finished pulling a minor job in the richer part of the city, involving a blue diamond bigger then a head, and were laying low before leaving to their next town, job unknown. The three left the hotel to a quiet diner away from the bright lights, and Bofur texted the name of it to Nori so he could find them after work. Nori joined them an hour later.

“Good to see you out again.” He said, shaking Thorin's hand, and then greeting Dwalin. He took the seat across from them, and wrapped an arm around Bofur. 

If Thorin were petty, he would envy the two of them. It must be nice to work side by side with your partner, who knew full and well what you did for a living. Though they had met during a job, so there didn't even need to be a convorsation. 

"Did you get the cookies I sent?" Bofur asked cheekily.

"Why do you think I came to see you first?" Thorin answered. 

"Because I'm the pretty one." Bofur said. 

Nori made an affronted noise. "I'm the prettier one."

"Stop talking." Dwalin said, and they both smirked at him. 

"Seriously, Thorin." Nori said, "What's the idea?"

During their banter, Thorin had leaned back in his seat, drumming his fingers on the table idly. When Nori addressed him, the others looked at him. He didn't say anything right away, just waited until he knew he had their full attention. 

Then, he looked at each of them in the eye.

"When's the last time any of you have been to Vegas?"

None of them said a word.

Bofur was the first to reply, "You... want to knock of a Vegas casino?"

"Not 'a'," Thorin corrected, "Three."

"You're shitting me." Nori said.

"Which ones?" Dwalin asked, taking a drink of his beer.

"Glaurung, Ancalagon, and Scatha."

They stayed silent.

"Those are Smaug's casinos." Nori pointed out, rather unnecesarily.

"The take," Thorin said, "Would be eight figures. Each."

Bofur let out a low whistle.

"I'm in." He said, and Thorin smiled.

Nori glared and elbowed him. "Quiet, you." He said, looking reluctant. But if Bofur was in, so was Nori.

"What do you have against Smaug." Dwalin said, still not looking away from his beer.

"It's not what I have against him." Thorin said. "Smaug has a long list of enemies. Many would love to see him fall."

Dwalin snorted. "Balin?"

"Balin." Thorin agreed.

Dwalin whipped his head from one side to the other, cracking his muscles. "Well, I'm off the force for a few months," He said, "I guess I'll give it a try."

"How many involved?" Nori said.

Thorin asked Dwalin to pull out manilla envelope he had put aside before leaving the jail. 

He opened the packet and spread the documents out. They all looked at them.

Nori swore. "You sure love to pick them," He said. "This would involve several cons at once. How many involved?"

"At _least_ ten," Bofur speculated, looking over his shoulder at some specs. "Jesus, Thorin. I've seen missile silos less guarded then this. What are you thinking?"

"I'm planning on one last job before stepping away." Thorin said, "I want one last, big job before I fade. I just spent the last five years behind bars. Dwalin's pretended to be a _police officer_ ," he spat out the words and they all shuddered, "and you two have been pulling jobs not worth a grain to what you are _really_ capable of. And that's the way of this life - you pull job after job until you retire, die, or get arrested. At least we can be remembered for decades for pulling one of the greatest heists of our time."

He let his words marinate with the others, and took a drink of his beer. 

"You rehearsed that on the drive here, didn't you?" Dwalin said.

"I did," Thorin admitted, "And I rushed it. It felt really rushed."

"No I liked it," Bofur consoled, while Nori said, "Yeah you rushed it."

"The police officer dig was low." Dwalin grumbled. "Saved your ass."

"Consider this my apology to you all, and repayment for what happened at Arkenstone." Thorin said.

"This goes well? I'll forget it ever happened." Nori swore. Thorin smiled - from Nori, that was confirmation that he was joining. With two on his team, three including himself (and he liked to think he counted), he glanced sideways at Dwalin.

He nodded. That made four.

"We can pick up the members you want," Bofur offered, "While you two talk to Balin."

Nori snorted. "Good luck with that, by the way."

Dwalin gave an ironic smile. "Well, we'll need it." He finished his beer. "I wonder what he'll say."

* * *

 

Las Vegas

12:00 PM

"You're both out of your fucking minds."

Dwalin bit into his lobster to better hide his smirk. People wondered where he got his mouth? They clearly never spent longer then ten minutes with his brother.

"You are absolutely insane!" Balin raved, "The casino security is impenetrable. It cannot be beat. I invented it."

Well, that was a stretch. But Dwalin knew better then to argue.

"What, are you telling me it's never been tried?" Thorin pressed.

Both brothers scoffed. Balin for the absurdity of the question, Dwalin for the absurdity of him questioning Balin.

"Never been tried? It's been tried." Balin rolled his eyes. "Each attempt more disatorous then the last. This city was built on a mob. The first time, in the 70's, the man got both his legs broken. In the 80's he was breathing out of a hose for six months. The last? They shot him, on site, in _public_ , and _watched_ the stolen cash flutter to the ground.

"And you're telling me - both of you - that you want to join that list?" He glared at them. "I can't believe I'm hearing this. I can't believe you would think I would even _help_ you."

Thorin sighed placidly. "I'm sorry for taking your time," he said, scooting his chair back to leave. 

Dwalin was impressed. He'd forgotten how good Thorin was at this.

Balin gave a sigh. "Oh, you know I what I mean. I've missed you both very much the last five years. I consider you both my brothers. Even you, Dwalin." They grinned at the joke. 

"Thanks, Balin." Thorin took a sip of the mimosa that was in front of him.

They continued like that in silence, before Balin broke it.

"Out of idle curiosity," He began, and it took every ounce of self-preservation Dwalin had to not smirk, "Which casinos were you geniuses fitting to rob?"

"The Glaurung, Ancalagon, and Scatha." Thorin answered. 

Balin stared at him.

"Those are Smaug's casinos," he said, and neither of them replied. They didn't have to. Balin looked at them suspiciously. 

"What do you two have against Smaug?"

"It's not what we have against him. It's what you have against him." Thorin said.

Balin snorted. "Where would I begin?" He asked. "He wrestled me out of Moria. He'll be demolishing it for one of his monstrous hotels." He shook his head fondly. "I see where your head is at. You can't fool me."

"I'm not trying to fool you." Thorin said, "I want to see him get taken down."

"It'll be a complicated job." Dwalin said, "With multiple cons."

"You'll need a skilled crew," Balin agreed. He looked at them both. "A skilled crew as insane as you."

He smiled.

Now they had five.

"Who did you have in mind?" He asked.


	2. Getting the Gang Together

“Who do you have in mind?” Balin asked.

Thorin and Dwalin smirked at each other.

They sat back down, and Dwalin went back to eating while Thorin spoke with Balin.

“I’m going to place a call to Fili and Kili.”

Balin frowned. “Your nephews?”

“They finished a job a few months back,” Dwalin said, in between bites. “And they’re bored.”

* * *

 

Salt Lake City

11:43 AM

A hummer pulled to the starting line of a race track.

An identical remote-controlled car pulled up next to it.

From the driver’s seat, Fili looked out the window to his brother, who was holding the remote control. He drummed his fingers against the wheel impatiently.

“Waiting, sweetheart. Just waiting.” He snapped, and Kili smirked.

“What? Go!”

“What do you mean – you have the remote just punch it!”

Kili tried egging him on, and then when Fili swore he was going to get out of the car and “drop you like third period French” Kili punched it and the remote control car sped off.

Wanting the last word, Fili sped up and ran the car over, and Kili could hear him cackling. Bastard.

He lowered the antennae on his control, and that was when he heard his cell phone go off.

* * *

 

Las Vegas

 

“Alright,” Balin said, “So you have them for groundwork. Who else?”

“Dori is the best for explosives.” Thorin said, and Balin nodded in agreement.

“He isn’t going to be available.” Dwalin warned.

“Nori’s got it under control.”

* * *

 

 

Indianapolis

9:23 PM

Dori excitedly hovered his thumb under the control. The door to the bank’s vault was riddled with explosives, and would go off at the press of his button. So beautiful.

His team was lined up behind him, and he held out his arm so they would stay down.

“Alright chaps,” He beamed, “Hold on to your knickers.”

He pressed the button and the explosions went off. Dori couldn’t help the mad giggle that escaped him when that happened, and triumphantly did a little jig to celebrate his successful entry to the vault.

So, naturally, the alarm went off.

“Oh – leave it out!” He moaned, and glared at the rest of them. “You tossers-you had one job to do!”

Getting arrested was so bloody annoying. The policemen were growly, and incompetent, and hid their incompetence behind their growly nature and poor Dori was caught in the middle of that.

“You got any traps around here?” The policeman growled, and Dori was insulted at the insinuation.

“You accusing me of booby-trapping?”

“Well, ‘ow about it?”

A new person walked up to them. “Booby traps aren’t his style.” Nori sauntered over, rattling off a fake name and faulty ID that the idiot cop bought hook, line, and sinker. Nori then grabbed Dori and shoved him against the car and Dori growled. He was going to get it later.

Nori then yelled at him to go find some imaginary person, and he actually scampered off. Dori rolled his eyes.

“You have the key?” Nori whispered, and he nodded. He stepped back, and Dori rubbed his free wrists. They walked away from the crime scene, and Dori pulled him along to walk faster as explosives went off behind them.

They waited until they were a few blocks away before laughing.

“Not that I don’t like the jail break,” Dori said, “But I thought you and Bofur weren’t done in Atlantic City?”

“Thorin’s out,” Nori explained, “And he’s got a job for everyone – Bofur’s even getting his brother and cousin in.”

Dori grinned. “That’s terrific. It’ll be nice working with proper villains again.”

* * *

 

Fort Lauderdale

8:30 AM

Bofur carefully walked down the steps of the bleechers that surrounded the racing track. He headed towards one of the box seats, and entered it.

“’Ello Bombur.” He smiled at his brother. Bombur frowned at him.

“I’m out.”

Bofur frowned, “You didn’t know what I was going to say.”

“I did know what you were going to say. You think I don’t know you? You only smile like that when you and that no-good thief of yours are going to do a job, and you want me involved. Well, I’m out. I don’t do that anymore.” Bombur glared at the track, still not looking at him.

“Why do you need to be out?” Bofur asked.

Bombur shifted. “I would like the chance to settle down. Have a wife. A few kids. Like, eight, maybe nine.”

Despite his reluctance, Bofur smiled at his adorable brother for thinking eight or nine was small for a family.

“Guys like us don’t retire Bom, you know that.” Bofur said soothingly, but Bombur shook his head.

A horn went off, and the dogs were released as they raced across the field. While they ran, Bofur leaned over to whisper the plan in his ear. He pressed a plane ticket to his hand and left.

Bombur looked down at his race ticket, and then glanced at the plane ticket.

He watched his chosen dog finish dead last.

He left with the plane ticket.

* * *

 

Orlando

11:00 AM

Bombur had caught up with his brother in time to help him recruit their cousin.

“I’m glad you’re doing this with us,” Bofur said with a smile. Bombur gave a half-hearted shrug.

“Well, the take makes this one good last job to do.” He said, and Bofur smirked.

They took their seats in the circus audience, and watched the different acts. Then, they watched their cousin take the rink, and execute a series of nearly aerodynamically impossibly flips and tumbles.

When Bifur went to take his bow, he saw them in the applauding crowd, and smirked.

They all left Florida together.

* * *

 

Las Vegas

11:30 AM

Dwalin met Oin and Gloin for lunch to explain the plan. 

They were in before the check arrived.

* * *

 

 

Las Vegas 

12:00 AM

Balin answered the door, and found Fili, Kili, Dori, Nori, Bofur, Bombur, Bifur, Gloin, and Oin looking back at him. 

"What, you all got a group rate here?" He grouched, but let them all in. 

Hardly the looks of an elite group.

Thorin had better know what he was doing. 

* * *

Las Vegas

12:10 AM

At the end of the day, Thorin and Dwalin said side by side at the bar. Both had a beer, and neither looked directly at each other.

“We have twelve,” Thorin said to him, “I think that should do it.”

Dwalin raised his beer, and looked at it.

“You think we need one more.” Thorin said.

Dwalin drank his beer.

“We need one more,” Thorin agreed.

Dwalin set the bottle down.

“Alright,” Thorin conceded, “We’ll get one more.”

* * *

 

Chicago

5:00 PM

Thorin watched the kid from across the subway car.

He looked like a mousy thing - scrawny red hair, Cubs baseball cap, unflattering brown jacket, jeans and sneakers. The kid looked like a college-age nerd, but Nori had been adament that he was one of the best pick-pockets in the US.

The car lurched into a sudden turn, and he saw it - he leaned into the stock broker next to him, and that was it. Thorin raised his eyebrows. That had been smooth.

Well, Nori's word did mean something.

He followed the kid off the exit, and gently brushed against him, and kept walking.

Some minutes later, the kid went to his pocket to find that the wallet was gone, but a card in its place.

It read: Nice Lift. Come To McClaren's at 6.

He thought about it for a moment, and went to the pub.

The pub itself was mostly deserted, so it was pretty easy for him to spot who he was looking for. The name on the back had said, "Thorin" and he went over to greet him.

Thorin placed a plane ticket on the table, mostly covered by his hand. "You're either in, or your out. Right now."

He cocked his head at him. "I don't even know what this is."

"It's a job offer," Thorin deadpanned.

"I don't know you." The kid said.

"You came recommended by Nori." Thorin said.

He was surprised to see the kid scoff. "Yeah, brothers will do that. I'm Ori." Thorin blinked and Ori smirked at him.

"Yeah, he and Dori don't like to tell people. They don't want me trading on their name before I can make one myself." He said.

"Help us here and you'll get that." Thorin promised.

Ori drummed his fingers, pursing his lips.

"Unless, of course," Thorin conceded, "You enjoy feeling up stock brokers." He raised a hand to call for the check, and Ori picked up the ticket.

Thorin looked back to see him looking at the ticket and grinned. "That's the smoothest lift you've made yet." He teased.

Ori ignored him. "Vegas, huh?"

Thorin smiled. That made thirteen. "Do you feel lucky?"


	3. The Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is explained.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy guacamole! 
> 
> I have not given up on the Hobbit fandom! I promise! 
> 
> There have been some MAJOR life changes that have happened in the last few months. I took on a new job, moved from Northern California back to my college town in Southern California (that move took MONTHS), helped staff a 40-person trip to a foreign country (which REALLY takes it out of you), went on a vacation in Europe, and went to a few conferences. So writing has (unfortunately) really gone on the back-burner. But now things are FINALLY settling down (ish - the Jewish High Holy Days are taking a lot out of me but this is kind of a reprieve of sorts) 
> 
> A Happy L'Shanah Tovah (May You Be Inscribed in the Book of Life) to you all!

Despite having two criminal masterminds as brothers, Ori had never been to Las Vegas. Thorin took the check, paid for his beer, and left the pub. Ori had been left, holding the plane ticket. He had been booked on a flight that left in about twenty-six hours. And that was if he took the job. 

 

But who was he kidding? Of course he was. 

 

It took him about an hour to pack his bag. Just one bag - Nori had taught him about the importance of packing light, and Dori had taught him about keeping his things tidy. He stopped by his landlord's room to drop off the next two months of rent, only to be told that it had already been paid for six. 

 

There hadn't been much else to do except wait for the time of departure. His seat was coach - it probably wouldn't have looked good for a scrappy college-aged student to be sitting up in First Class. Ori settled in for the next few hours, and tried to unsuccessfully sleep during the flight. As the plane touched down, the sun was setting, and it gave a beautiful glow to the Las Vegas Strip. It made him wish he had a good camera phone.

 

It only occurred to him as he got off the plane that he had no idea where he was supposed to go next.

 

A pit formed in his stomach as his entire body flushed with embarrassment. How stupid was he? If Dori or Nori found out - and they could never find out - he was never going to live it down. Always know where your next destination will be. That was one of the most basic rules-

 

This was probably a set-up anyway. Ori took a deep breath, and kept his pace steady. He kept walking forward. He figured after an hour, maybe two, he'd turn back around and go straight back to Chicago. 

 

But then he saw it - a sign with his name on it. And the person holding the sign, well. 

 

Ori heard himself gulp, but did not let himself break his pace. It seemed that Thorin had thought about this step, and sent someone to get him. And this someone just happened to be built with muscles in all the right places. The pick-pocket had no idea someone with that strong of a jawline could make a scowling resting face look handsome. He stopped in front of the man, and somehow managed to introduce himself without a stammer. 

 

"I'm Ori," He said, exuding a nonchalance that he didn't actually feel. 

 

The other man gave him a smile, and Ori hoped that no one else could hear how loudly his heart was pounding. "Nice to meet you, I'm Dwalin." 

 

* * *

 

Initially, Fili and Kili wanted to pick up the newest recruit, and Thorin had cleared it. But a few moments later, Dori caught up with him and warned him that being exposed to Fili-and-Kili's type of madness first thing would probably drive Ori away. He recommended someone a little easier as a segue. That led Thorin to deciding on Dwalin instead - he only looked grumpy. He'd be a nice first meeting. 

 

Thorin realized, with full hindsight, Dori had probably meant himself. He wasn't good at reading those things. Bilbo had been. 

 

Out of habit, whenever he thought of Bilbo, he pushed at his ring with his thumb, more to make sure that it was there. The hardest part about jail had been going without his ring - now that he had it, he had resolved to never take it off. 

 

Everyone else was gathered in the backyard, surrounding the pool area where Balin had set up a little party. Balin, playing the perfect host, had set up a nice spread, with plenty of beverage choices. Judging by the little table next to his lounge chair, Bofur had already sampled several of the beers. He was reclined against the chair, with Nori leaning almost entirely on him. They were talking to Fili. 

 

Bifur was seated cross-legged on the diving plank, building an impressively large house of cards. Gloin was taking bets from Dori and Kili about how tall it would get. Bombur overheard them, snorted, and walked to join his brother's conversation. Oin and Balin were standing near each other, making occasional remarks but not saying much to each other. 

 

That was when Dwalin and Ori arrived. Everyone looked over to shout a hello for Dwalin, and they all curiously regarded Ori - no one quite knowing what to make of him. While they looked at Ori, Thorin peered at Dwalin. 

 

They had been friends for decades, and no one - not even Balin - could read Dwalin like Thorin could. He had been holding Ori's bag, and when he glanced over at Thorin, his eyes widened ever-so-slightly and he nervously set the bag down, before telling Ori to go eat and drink what was out. 

 

Thorin smirked at him, and Dwalin glared back. 

 

 _Really?_ Thorin asked him, raising an eyebrow. _The kid?_

 

 _Shut up._ Dwalin scowled back.

 

_His older brothers are on this job. They're protective._

 

_Shut up._

 

All this was communicated from across the pool. Thorin snorted, and shook his head. He decided it was time to begin. 

 

"Well, now that everyone's here, I'd just like to officially welcome you all to Las Vegas." 

 

Kili gave a little cheer, but fell quiet the instant Thorin gave him a _look_. 

 

 

“Everyone alright? Everyone sober?” Thorin glanced about, caught Bofur’s eye, and then shook his head. “Nevermind. The job I'm about to tell you about is highly lucrative, and highly dangerous. If that's not your particular kind of vodka, and you're done, you can leave, no hard feelings. But.” 

 

H ere he paused. And looked around again. But this time, his gaze carried more meaning. There was something manifesting in the air around them. Something that went a little deeper then the promise of a new job. 

 

“You can come inside the house.” Thorin turned, and walked back into the house. 

 

That was the que for the party to end. 

 

Bofur gave a sigh, and pushed himself out of his chair. “Well gents,” he called, “That’s our cue.” Nori, who’d been laying on him, was thrown off-balance and caught himself before he fell off. Ori thought he overheard his brother mutter, “Asshole,” but then the two disappeared back inside the house. He could overhear Nori saying, "Every brand of vodka is your brand."

 

His gaze met Dwalin’s again. 

 

The other man raised an eyebrow, and Ori felt the heat return to his face again. He prayed he wasn’t blushing. Judging by the way Dwalin’s lips twitched, as if he were trying not to smirk, Ori doubted it. Dwalin gave him a slight nod and went inside. 

 

Without looking around, Ori knew everyone else was following suit. He gave a sigh, and slumped in his chair. It was nice of Thorin to meet him, and invite him to Vegas, but there was no way he was prepared for this. Once everyone left, he would make his way back to the airport.

 

“You must be the youngest Ri.” 

 

Ori looked up, and saw Balin staring down at him. He nodded. 

 

“You came from Chicago, right?”

 

Ori nodded again. 

 

“It’s very nice in Chicago this time of year.” Balin commented. Ori had the feeling he wasn’t making conversation, but he agreed nonetheless. He also had the feeling that Balin was sizing him up. But he must have seen something he liked, because he smiled. Something inside Ori felt relieved at his smile, and he returned it. 

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Balin said. Then, his face turned stern. “Get in the goddamn house.”  

 

Ori found himself quickly walking inside. 

 

There were three couches surrounding a coffee table, with a TV mounted against the wall on the fourth side. The couches were already full, so he took a barstool from the kitchen island. As he took his seat, Thorin caught his eye again. When Ori looked at him, Thorin met his gaze and gave a small grin. 

 

“Now that we’re all here, we can begin.” 

  
Ori settled back, and made himself comfortable. He watched Dwalin and Thorin take their places in front of the screen, ready to address the group. 

 

"Within the Last Vegas strip rests Glaurung, Ancalagon, and Scatha," Thorin said, "They're three of the most profitable casinos in Vegas. All three are owned by the same man, Smaug, who keeps all the money in a vault below Scatha. Every chip in all three casinos has its value, in cash, resting in this casino. This is what we're going to rob."

 

With each word, Ori could feel an excitement rising within him. It made him feel more comfortable in the room, like he was one of the guys. Without thinking, he interjected, "Like a smash and grab job, right?"

 

The instant the words were out of his mouth, he regretted them. 

 

Everyone, even the people sitting with their backs to him, turned to look at him. 

 

He caught Nori's eye, and his brother shook his head slightly. Ori flushed with embarrassment. 

 

"Slightly more complicated then that," Dwalin answered, and Ori slumped. 

 

"Well, yeah." He mumbled. It had only been a joke. 

 

Thorin went back to his presentation. The screen behind him changed to rotate between a few different pictures detailing blueprints and sketches. "The following details were provided for us by Nori, who's been working undercover as a Blackjack dealer at Scatha."

 

Nori flashed a grin at them all, and Bofur kissed his cheek. 

 

"I'll start with the bad news," Thorin said, before they got too carried away. "There are several steps to carry this out successfully. First, we have to get into the casino cages - which will take more then a smile. The next step are the doors to the Security mainframe," here the screen changed to a blueprint that showed different security rooms, and the mainframe that held the power to the Hotel, "And the code to the doors changes every twelve hours. Once we get there, we reach the elevator.

 

"Now, this is where it gets a little tricky," He ignored the exclamations here, "The elevator won't move without a fingerprint ID-"

 

"Which we can't fake," Dwalin cut in. 

 

Seamlessly, Thorin continued, "And vocal confirmation from the system within the hotel and the vault." 

 

"Which we won't get," Dwalin added again. 

 

"But once we get down the elevator," Thorin pressed on, "It's simple - just a couple of armed guards, and the most elaborate vault door ever built by man.

 

"Any questions?"

 

Bifur spoke up, and while Ori's Yiddish was too basic to keep up with what he was saying, Thorin and Dwalin seemed to understand. 

 

"We won't be able to tunnel in and circumvent the elevator," Dwalin answered. He then clarified, "They have sensors that monitor the ground - they would know if something were coming from miles away."

 

"Any other questions?" Thorin asked. 

 

"You... said there was _good_ news?" Fili asked. 

 

Thorin grinned at him, and nodded. "By law, a casino has to keep the cash equivalent of every chip on the floor. On a weekday, by law, a casino would have anywhere from five to ten million. On a weekend, fifty to a hundred. But, on a fight night, like the one in three months, when we're going to rob it, there will be a hundred and fifty million dollars."

 

"Divide that thirteen ways," Dwalin said.

 

Ori couldn't help the whistle he gave, and Dwalin gave him a wolfish grin. "Exactly." Ori smiled back. 

 

Neither of them noticed Dori and Nori exchange a glance, or the eyeroll Nori gave. 

 

"Let me get this straight," Bombur interjected, "Say we get in the security barrier, through the doors, down the elevator we can't move, pass the guards with the guns, get into the vault we can't open-"  


 

"Without being seen by the cameras," Dwalin added. 

 

Thorin nodded. "That's right - they have cameras everywhere in this hotel." 

 

Bombur let a second pass before speaking again.  "Alright. Say... we do all that. Are you saying they're just going to let us walk out of that hotel with one-hundred fifty million dollars, in cash? Without getting stopped?" 

 

A stillness went over the room, as everyone turned to look at Thorin. 

 

He gave a smile back at Bombur. "Yes."

 

"Oh," Bombur leaned back in his seat, trying not to look stunned. "Well, alright then." 

 

"We'll start tomorrow," Thorin said, and grinned, "Get some sleep. We have a lot of work to do." 


	4. Plans in Motion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is in motion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a lot of fun to write! 
> 
> I hope it's fun to read.

True to his word, the team jumped straight into the job the next morning.

 

“You’re all going to be assigned specific tasks for this to be successful,” Thorin said, “And our first task will be reconnaissance. I want to know everything about everyone who works there - all the people with security tags. What they do for fun, how they take their coffee.”

 

\----

 

Every employee at Scatha, by law, took two breaks - two for fifteen minutes, and one for half an hour.

 

Nori was no exception. He just so happened to make sure his allotted breaks would coincide with Alfrid’s. 

 

Alfrid worked in security - one of the two men that had total access to the mainframe in Scatha. Nori figured he’d have better luck trailing this one. Other than work, Alfrid had no hobbies, or close friends. But after work, he would go to  _ The Glitter Bar _ , which was the  _ actual _ name of an off-strip strip club, get a lap-dance from someone named Charity, and then talk about it at work the next day.

 

“I think she’s really into me!” Alfrid was saying to a vallet driver, who seemed to be agreeing with him.

 

Really, no one gave Nori enough credit for his straight face. To anyone else in the break room, he was just filling out a crossword puzzle. People were  _ incredibly _ unobservant - it was a tactic he liked to use for taking notes. No one even read pencil anymore, meaning no one would notice that his words;  _ Charity _ ,  _ Glitter _ ,  _ seven o’clock _ , would be recognized as not real answers.

 

“Hey, Snaga!” It took Nori a few seconds to remember that meant him.

 

“Yes?” He asked. Alfrid and the driver were both looking at him intently.

 

“I was wondering,” Alfrid said, “If you wanted to join us at  _ Glitter Bar _ tonight.”

 

_ Not even for one hundred and fifty million dollars _ , was what Nori thought. Out loud, he said, “Oh, I’m married.”

 

It was comical the way both their eyes dropped to his left hand in shock, and the way that they stared at his sans-ring hand in confusion.

 

“I don’t wear it for work - I find the tips are better for single workers,” Nori explained. That and you  _ never _ wear anything sentimental on the job.

 

“Makes sense,” Alfrid said with a nod. Then he scoffed, “I bet your wife must get annoyed.” He subsequently lost interest in Nori and went back to his conversation - the other man laughed at his comment.

 

Nori paused for a moment, holding back his own scoff.

 

Though, he definitely wouldn’t feel bad about this guy getting involved in their heist anymore.

 

\---

 

_ “Casinos are built with bright lights, colors, and have plenty of air conditioning. Their build to keep people in - I want to know how to get out. We need to know about all the entrances and exits, and how to time our entrances and exits so we don’t run into any security guards.” _

 

\---

 

There was a corner in the casino for people to observe the horse races, and take their bets. Fili and Kili, disguised in matching crimson sweaters were in two of these seats. But while their neighbors were all peering at the screens over shrimp cocktails and martinis, they were sneaking glances at one of the nearby security exits.

 

Finally, they watched one of the guards pass through it.

 

Kili read from his watch, “He went in at 4:15.”

 

“4:17,” Fili corrected, not looking up from his own, “Get a watch that works.”

 

Kili glowered. “You make me sick, it was 4:15.”

 

“You’re being childish, as  _ usual _ , it was 4:17.” Fili replied.

 

They continued the argument as they walked to the next security door.

 

\----

 

_ “We also need to cut the power on the night of our event,” Thorin said. He turned to Dori. “We’ll need to rely on your expertise here.” _

 

_ Dori nodded, and took a sip of his tea. _

 

_ “It’ll be your show Dori,” Thorin said. _

 

_ He set his teacup down. “I can give you a five minute total power outage, for a five mile radius. The center will be under a pothole outside the Luxor.” _

 

_ Thorin grinned. “Sounds perfect.” _

 

\----

 

Dressed up in a construction uniform, no one gave Dori a second glance as he coned off the pothole outside of the Luxor. Nori was right - people really were unobservant.

 

He crawled below to see what he’d have to work with.

 

\---

 

_ “We have to take care of security. Smaug’s staff has eyes and ears in all his hotels, so we need eyes and ears on them. Bofur?” _

 

_ Without taking his eyes off his laptop screen, Bofur pursed his lips. “It’s not the least accessible system I’ve ever seen, but it’s not one I can tap into from here.” _

 

_ “There’s no remote circuit?” Thorin asked, ignoring Nori’s grimace. Sending Bofur in to place a firewall was dangerous - even for him. _

 

_ “They have in house technicians.” Bofur answered, with a sideways glance at Nori. _

 

_ “Two,” Nori clarified, and then smirked. “One of them is lonely.” _

 

\----

 

Charity writhed and twisted on top of Alfrid, who reverently looked up at her. She leaned forward, placing both her hands on his chest.

 

While he was trying not to hyperventilate, Alfrid failed to notice that while her hands went farther south, she snatched his ID badge. Even when she walked away, he still had no idea. She made her way outside the club, feeling rather confident in herself.

 

Once outside, "Charity" took a breath. It said something that the hot, dusty air was considered refreshing when compared with the smoke-filled club. She looked over her shoulder, and smiled at the man leaning against the wall. 

 

"Hello 'Charity'." 

 

"Fili," She returned. Fili grinned back at her. 

 

"Having a good shift?" He asked. 

 

"It's alright," She shrugged. "Found something you might be interested in."

 

Fili took the ID bagde. "Thanks Tauriel, we’ll have it back in an hour. Kili says hello, by the way." 

 

"Tell him to get down here," Tauriel replied. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "And that I say hello back." 

 

\----

 

Kili walked through the casino in Scatha, holding a bunch of balloons in one hand. He twisted and turned through the slot machines and card tables, intent on getting through the hotel doors as fast as possible. This was interrupted when Fili - walking from the other direction - walked straight into him. Kili's balloons floated to the ceiling, but he wasn't paying attention to that. 

 

"Watch where you're going, pal," He snapped. 

 

"Who're you calling a pal, friend!" Fili yelled, letting his voice carry.

 

"Who're you calling a friend, jackass!" Kili shouted.

 

"Don't call me a jackass."

 

"I just did call you a jackass!" 

 

Several feet away, Bofur had watched as Fili deliberately walked into his brother. As their voices got louder, they took the attention of everyone around them, and a circle had formed - as if onlookers were expecting a fight to break out at any minute. Bofur's eyes flicked back to the guard in front of the Security mainframe. The guard reached to touch his earpiece, nodded to it, and walked over.

 

He was the closest one to their orchestrated fight, just as they planned.

 

As soon as his focus was absorbed with Fili and Kili, Bofur made his way to the security door. He inserted their copy of Alfrid's security tag, and walked into the backroom. The hacker glanced down to his palm, where he had drawn a small sketch of the different hallways. They all looked the same, and it wasn’t not like there was a sign saying, "Our security mainframe is right this way!" 

 

Bofur quickly walked down the hallway, made a few turns, and found himself in front of the door he needed. He pushed his way inside. There were rows - almost like bookshelves - of wires. It was tempting to stop and gaze at them all in awe. Really tempting. Smaug had some of the most advanced security technology he had ever seen, and he could have been perfectly happy looking through all the wiring for the next week, maybe two. 

 

But he had a job to do. 

 

He walked through the aisles and stopped towards the back, and attached his “bug” to one of the wires. 

 

The device in his hand was connected to the bug, and he watched the screen showcase the hallway he had just come down. He grinned triumphantly. 

 

\----

 

“We’re in,” Dwalin breathed. He and Thorin were seated where Bofur had his workshop set-up. 

 

“We’re in.” Thorin agreed with a nod. “Why are all hallways that color?”

 

“They say tope is soothing.” Dwalin replied. 

 

\----

 

“You’re making words up!” Fili shouted.

 

“Obsequious is a word!” Kili snapped. 

 

The Security guard was doing his best to calm them down. “Gentlemen, please lower your voices!” 

 

Neither man listened. 

 

\----

 

Bofur exited the room, and walked back down the hallway. As he came up on a fork - right, left or center - he looked down at his palm and cursed. 

 

He remembered, while setting up his bug and making sure the frequency would stay, he had wiped his face. Now his map was gone. 

 

\----

 

Dwalin watched Bofur go left, and then he watched him turn around and go the other way. “Uh oh.”

 

“He needs to get out.” Thorin muttered unnecessarily.

\----

 

“Why would you be bumping into me - I’m just trying to deliver my balloons!!”

 

The Security Guard was now shouting over Kili’s protests, but they were both taken aback by Fili laughing. 

 

“You’re balloons? That’s great! He’s a balloon boy! Balloon boy!” 

 

“You’re spitting on my face!” 

 

\----

 

After a few more wrong turns, Bofur finally found a familiar hall, and saw the door to leave. 

 

“Excuse me!” Came a voice from behind him. 

 

His heart dropped. He picked up the pace, hoping the person would think he couldn’t hear. 

 

“Hey, wait!” 

 

The footsteps got louder, and the person was getting much closer. He walked faster - almost at the door -

 

Someone grabbed his arm, and his whole criminal life flashed before his eyes. 

 

“Hello,” It was a security guard he had passed earlier. “You dropped this.”

 

It was his configuring device. 

 

“Oh, thanks.” He took it. 

 

“How’s reception on those things?” The man asked.

 

Bofur gave him a grin. “Excellent.” 

 

Then he left. 

 

\-----

 

Dwalin let out a breath. Thorin shook his head. 

 

“That was…” Dwalin said. 

 

“Yeah.” Thorin agreed. 

 

\------

 

“Well,” Kili snapped, “I have a very important client to get these to, and I don’t have time to be dealing with you circus animals!” 

 

He reached above to grab the balloons, and stomped off. 

  
Fili continued on his path, leaving the Security Guard standing there. 


End file.
